Pinto beans & cornbread, turnip greens and a BLT on Texas toast. Not
entirely southern, but good enough.

White rice, black beans in sambal oelek chili paste and bacon, and a
freshly made salsa with chopped tomatoes, onions, white corn, red
peppers and avocado. Glorious.

Marie had a mushroom veloute for starters and then a bibb lettuce, asparagus and grilled chicken salad with champagne vinaigrette. I had an onion soup gratinee and then their eggs Johnathan, which consist of eggs Benedict accompanied with fried Gulf oysters.

Fuck yeah.

(or: On Lady Gaga’s first column)

First, read this shit:

Now, here’s my bit:

It’s as if she expects her recognition of her own lazy, misguided, copy/paste bullshit excuse for an aesthetic statement to somehow make her bullshit less disingenuous, or (LOL!) more tasteful.

In reality, and regardless of how much she may claim to know about culture and its disciplines and its fields and its icons and its niches, regardless of how many names she drops and how many obscure references she makes, there is no getting away from the fact that her music and her public persona are the cultural equivalent of a talentless cook throwing equal parts of *everything* in a saucepan, sautéing it over the fires of Mount Doom, then throwing it on a bed of broken glass & arugula and finally calling it “an experimental exploration of culinary existentialism”, or some equally idiotic nonsense.

Knowing —and having access to— a wide variety of ingredients does not a good cook —nor a good artist or craftsperson, for that matter— make.

Thanks go to Marie for bringing this to my attention. She knows I’m a sucker for calling hacks on their bullshit.

Spinach, steamed broccoli, sautéed brussel sprouts, shallots, walnuts,
apples & mandarin oranges, drizzled with a homemade balsamic
vinaigrette.

Pan-fried butternut squash gnocchi with sage, on a bed of braised
shortrib, and topped with wilted spinach and garlic. Drizzled with a
butter, balsamic vinegar and sage reduction.

It is perfect.

Above is a modified version of my submission to the Society of Typographic Aficionados’ Font Aid V: Made for Japan. The glyph represents hope in the form of the first light of a new dawn. It shows the Sun starting to rise above the horizon; slightly to the north, in hopes of a prompt recovery.

If you’re a designer or artist, please consider taking a few minutes out of your time today to submit a glyph idea to this honorable cause, in addition to any other, more traditional form of help you may already be giving to the people of Japan. Cynical comparisons to Haiti not withstanding, the fact remains that the entire nation of Japan was hit very hard by this disaster, and they can use every bit of help we can give.

Below is the original, one-color submission.

Alfonso: “Babe, eso no me va a caber en la boca.”
Marie: “Te va a caber y te lo vas a comer, puñeta.”
Alfonso: “Okei.”